Summer Programs for 9th, 10th, and 11th grade students

2018 Summer for Success program at Beacon College This 3-week summer immersion experience prepares LD/ADHD students for the transition to college with personalized, strategic coursework as well as off-campus activities, while living on our campus in Leesburg, FL with other students who learn differently.
Go to www.beaconcollege.edu for more information.
For questions or assistance, call us at 855-220-5376 or email admissions@beaconcollege.edu.

Bucknell University "Academy Summer Experience"
June 24-28, 2018
Learn more and apply at bucknell.edu/base
Application deadline: Friday April 20

Careers in Healthcare Experience Program at Lowell General Hospital
The program will take place from July 30 – August 3, 2018
The application and instructions is found online at: https://www.lowellgeneral.org/health-and-wellness/health-and-wellness-programs/kids-and-teens/careers-in-healthcare-experience

Landmark College Summer Programs for High School Students

Traditional Track:
Dates: Sunday, July 15 – Saturday, August 4, 2018
Expected enrollment: 100 students
Cost: $5,630, plus $75 refundable damage deposit (cost includes double occupancy residence hall room, all meals, and activities)


Social Pragmatics Track: (We have experienced great interest in this program. Further applications will be reviewed for a place on our waiting list, or for the Traditional Track.)
Dates: Friday, July 13 – Saturday, August 4, 2018
Enrollment: 30 students
Cost: $6,800, plus $75 refundable damage deposit (cost includes double occupancy residence hall room, all meals, and activities)

The High School Summer Program is for rising juniors and seniors who are between the ages of 16 and 18. The program is highly structured and designed to expose students to skills and strategies that will help prepare them for college-level work.
https://www.landmark.edu/summer/high-school-programs

Miami University Summer Scholars Program
Session 1: July 1-13
Session 2: July 15-27
Visit miamiOH.edu/summerscholars for more information
Application deadline: May 1, 2018

NYU Precollege Program
July 1 - August 11
Apply by April 1 for scholarship consideration
For more details and application, visit nyu.edu/precollege
Additional programs available under nyu.edu/highschool

Roger Williams University Academy in Architecture
July 9 - August 4
For more information, visit saahp.rwu.edu/summeracademy

Texas Summer Scholarships for G9-12 Students
The University of Texas at Austin is offering $1,200-$1,700 Pre-College scholarships to high school students based on academic merit and financial need.
Scholarships are open to G9-12 students for Texas Summer 2018, 6/23-7/13/2018.
Applications are accepted on a rolling basis with a final deadline of 4/30/18.
Questions? Email us at: admin-txsummer@austin.utexas.edu

Marlboro College's Pre-College Summer Programs
Visit www.marlboro.edu for more information.
This July we are offering eight different week-long courses teens can choose from.
Session A: July 1 - July 7
Where Do the Words Come From? (Creative Writing, Poetry, Literature)
Inside/Out: Imaginative Theater (Performing Arts, Theater)
Session B: July 8 - July 14
Explorations in Clay (Visual Arts, Ceramics)
Green Mountain Ecology (Biology, Ecology)
Session C: July 15 - July 21
Awakening in the Wild (Philosophy, Religious Studies, Environmental Studies)
Do-It-Yourself Chemistry (Chemistry, Technology)
Session D: July 22 - July 28
Documentary Filmmaking (Film Studies, Video, Writing)
Playwriting (Creative Writing, Theater)

Regis College Summer Scholars Program Summer Scholars Program
Earn six credits over the course of five weeks through a blend of online and classroom courses
Orientation: June 28-29
Classes and campus overnight experience: July 19-27
10 days living in a suite-style residence hall on Regis’ beautiful Weston campus
Program cost: $1,750 (includes six college credits, room, board, and excursions; does not include text books)
Please don’t hesitate to contact the Regis Summer Scholars Program at summerscholars@regiscollege.edu for more information. 

SummerFAB Architecture Program at Wentworth Institute of Technology
July 9 - August 3
Interested students can learn more at www.wit.edu/summerfab. If you have any questions, you may contact the program at summerfab@wit.edu.

Inward Bound Mindfulness Education (iBme) is hosting a mindfulness retreat for teens ages 15-19 in your area this summer. 
August 7th – 12th
Middlesex School, Concord, MA
https://ibme.info/register/youth/northeast-teen-retreat/

Groton Community School Scholarship Opportunity

Groton Community School to inform you of a scholarship opportunity available to eligible 2018 graduates. We are proud to sponsor two annual scholarships this year, which are awarded to graduating high school seniors who attended our school as young children. We are very happy to honor our school alumni, and also to acknowledge two special young men who are near and dear to us. Each had a profound impact at very different stages of his life.

The Groton Community School Scholarship in Memory of Taylor Benjamin Young is now in its seventh year. Taylor was a beloved and treasured Groton Community School student who lost his life at the tender age of four. The scholarship is awarded to one high school senior who exemplifies the qualities demonstrated by Taylor during his life, especially his kind and caring nature, and his curiosity and enthusiasm for school.

Our second scholarship, is in memory of Christopher Barton, the son of Daniel and Alisa Barton. Christopher, was a personable and brilliant young man, whose important work in cancer research has guided future research and improved the lives of many. The award recipient of The Groton Community School Scholarship in Memory of Christopher Barton will exemplify Christopher’s qualities of scientific inquiry and achievement in math, with interest in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) related pursuits, and desire to make a difference in the lives of others.

All applications must be received by  March 31st, 2018. For more information regarding either scholarship, please visit our website: www.grotoncommunityschool.org/gcs-scholarships

Lieutenant June T. Murphy Scholarship

Lieutenant June T. Murphy Scholarship Criteria and Guidelines
 APPLICATION DEADLINE: May 1, 2018
 AWARD: $1,000.00
 INTRODUCTION: 

The MAWLE Scholarship was established in 2015 by then MAWLE President June T. Murphy.

Lieutenant Murphy joined the Brookline Police Department in 1984, following in the footsteps of her late father Sergeant William R. Murphy. In 2000, Lt. Murphy was appointed as the first female Sergeant in Brookline and in 2003 as the first female Lieutenant.

In 2003, Lt. Murphy was a driving force and charter member in creating MAWLE to help other women succeed in law enforcement careers. Her passion for education and desire to help young women start a career in law enforcement/criminal justice motivated her to organize the MAWLE Scholarship for women.
In May 2017, Lt. Murphy passed away at the age of 60. To honor her memory and continue her passion of aiding young women in the pursuit of a successful career in law enforcement/criminal justice, the scholarship was renamed the Lieutenant June T. Murphy Scholarship.

Commencing in 2018 the scholarship will be awarded annually at the Spirit of MAWLE Awards Ceremony to a candidate who is interested in pursuing a career in law enforcement/criminal justice and who best represents Lt. Murphy’s values and interests, which included hard work, integrity and academic scholarship.

CRITERIA:

To be considered, applicants must be:
•    a female.
•    a citizen of the United States.
•    a resident of Massachusetts for at least the past two years.
•    graduating from an accredited high school this academic year 2017/18.
•    having maintained a minimum of a 2.5 grade point average on a 4.0 scale.
•    a graduating high school senior who intends to pursue a full-time undergraduate degree in law enforcement/criminal justice at an accredited post-secondary college or university, with plans to become a law enforcement officer or work in the criminal justice field.
•    eligible to receive federal student aid.
•    accepted into an accredited college or university full-time program (minimum of two years) with a major in Criminal Justice at an accredited post-secondary institution.

CHECKLIST: 

Applicants must submit the following items by the application deadline:

•    A completed, signed scholarship application,
•    Scanned and emailed to scholarship@mawle.org
•    Send original document(s) to –  Massachusetts Association of Women in Law Enforcement, Massachusetts State House, 24 Beacon Street, PO Box #124, Boston, MA 02133
•    High School official transcript, through the second semester of 12th grade.
•    College or university acceptance letter.
•    A short (one page) essay describing the applicant’s interest in pursuing a law enforcement/criminal justice career, and what the scholarship would mean to her.
•    A letter of recommendation from a teacher, guidance counselor, or other non-family member/adult mentor/

*All documentation from HS and College must be official (ex. on letterhead, stamped transcripts.)
 
SELECTION AND PROCEDURE:

•    The scholarship recipient will be selected by the MAWLE Scholarship Committee and presented to the MAWLE Executive Board within the month of May 2018.
•    The scholarship check will be delivered to the recipient after the first semester upon the recipient’s submission of documentation that she has attained, at a minimum  a 2.5 minimum average.
•    If the recipient does not graduate from high school, chooses not to attend the identified college or university, or does not maintain the minimum first semester GPA, the Scholarship will be voided.
•    Preference is given to a child of an active or retired member in good standing of MAWLE, or a child of a deceased MAWLE member who were in good standing at the time of their death and has/had been a member for minimum 2 – 3 years.
 
SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION: All applications and supporting documentation must be submitted no later than the deadline May 01, 2018 (postmarked.) Incomplete or late applications will not be accepted.

Woburn SEPAC College Fair - March 28

Families of Juniors: Before you Apply, Know What To Expect Financially

Families of Juniors: Before you Apply, Know What To Expect Financially

YOU SHOULD KNOW NOW….
- Every school has a different amount of money to give (both need-based and merit-based)
- Every school reviews your application information differently to determine eligibility
- You’ll likely have very different financial aid offers from every school
- The majority of these financial aid offers for U.S. students will include federal student loans (considered an “award”)
- The financial aid application process can be vastly different at different schools
- Individual college financial aid offices (websites, phone, & email) are the best resource for accurately answering questions
- International students – Only some schools provide need or merit-based financial aid. An excellent list providing information on many schools is here: http://www.personalcollegeadmissions.com/financial-aid-nonresident-2017

HERE’S WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW TO PREPARE:
1) Use College Search Tools Focused on Cost: Along with other recommended search tools (College Board, Princeton Review, etc), the following websites use AVERAGE estimates (in U.S. Dollars - USD) of how much financial aid to expect based on family income (“need-based aid”), as well as AVERAGE student debt and salaries upon graduation:
a. “College Scorecard” https://collegescorecard.ed.gov/
b. College Navigator: https://nces.ed.gov/collegenavigator/
c. These websites estimate aid for family incomes in USD ranging between $0 - $110,000, but some may provide aid for higher incomes.

2) Use College/University Net Price Calculators (NPCs) to predict both need-based and merit-based aid:

a. Net price calculators are like a “mini” financial aid application that provides individualized estimates of aid if you meet the criteria for eligibility. Schools that award merit aid may also ask for student grades & test scores.

b. College websites are required to have Net Price Calculators, usually linked from both financial aid and admission websites, to help estimate what your family could be eligible to receive from the school. Googling the school’s name with “net price calculator” also can help.

c. Some schools also have what’s called a “MyinTution Quick Cost Estimator”. If a school has both, you should do both for the most accurate estimate.

d. If you’re confused or wonder how accurate the results are, take screenshots of both your input and results and email the financial aid office. It is crucial to take your time and thoroughly read instructions for each question.

e. Beware common mistakes:
i. DO NOT include the tuition paid for your current junior (if any)
ii. DO NOT include students’ sibling/s or parent/s in graduate school, or graduating college this year
iii. DO NOT include parent as a college student, even if parent is taking courses
iv. DO INCLUDE parent voluntary contributions to a tax-deferred account (most often 401k) – can be found only in box 12 of your W-2 form, and do not appear in your tax return.
v. DO INCLUDE value of rental or secondary property as an asset, instead of including it in your home value.

f. Self-employed and International families may get inaccurate results. You should contact financial aid offices directly to ask them for any help with financial aid estimates and their calculators.

g. Families with Divorced/Separated Parents should carefully read NPC instructions: some colleges will want the NPC for only one parent, some may want both parents, some may want step-parents included, some may not.
i. Informative article for divorced/separated families here: https://www.mefa.org/applying-financial-aid-parents-divorced/

3) Run your own personal “net price calculator” on your family finances.
a. Savings: How much, if any, can you contribute from savings? Per month, per year?
b. Cash flow/Parent earnings: How much, if any, can you squeeze out of your monthly cash flow? (per month, per year?) Colleges usually allow monthly payment plans instead of paying all at once.
c. Student Earning: How much could student work and earn towards college costs while they’re a student (especially in summer?)
d. Parent Borrowing: If family is considering borrowing loans to help pay, how much can the parent realistically borrow for four years of undergraduate education?
i. How much monthly payment can you afford?
ii. Do you plan to help pay for future schooling for yourself, student, or other children? The vast majority of graduate (Master’s, MD, JD, etc) programs have very little scholarships to offer and are mostly loan based.
iii. Is parent willing and able to co-sign additional loans for student beyond federal student loans? (usually with higher interest rate, less flexible repayment)
iv. Consider the parent loan program through the Dept. of Ed. Compare it with potential home equity and other private/alternative loan options (Consider interest rates, repayment flexibility, customer service, etc).

4) Student Borrowing: These loans are limited to U.S. citizens, are between $5,500 - $7,500 per year, have a low interest rate (between 4-5%) and offer more flexible repayment options. They are only available by completing the main application for financial aid, the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). The U.S. national average 4-year federal student loan debt is approximately $30,000, meaning roughly a $300 monthly payment after graduation (to repay in 10 years).
a. If you must borrow beyond federal student loans, first consider parent borrowing options above. Then shop around private/alternative lenders (usually higher interest rate, less flexible repayment, and require credit-worthy cosigner).
b. Determine monthly loan payment on all predicted loans for 4 years
i. Use a Loan calculator: http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/college-planning/loan-calculator.aspx
c. Figure out your annual salary estimate after you graduate
i. Salary estimate websites:
1. (http://www.learnearnretire.com/blog/salary-survey-starting-salaries-by-academic-major-2016
2. https://www.bls.gov/bls/blswage.htm
3. www.salary.com
d. 2 General Rules of Thumb:
i. Don’t borrow more than your expected total salary upon graduation
ii. Keep your monthly payment no more than 10% of your expected monthly income
e. Total up amounts from #4 (Your personal/family net price calculator) and #5 (Student borrowing) to “pre-qualify” yourself for a certain annual (or monthly) affordable contribution to college. Remember almost all colleges allow monthly payment plans instead of one or two large payments a year.

5) Ask questions of the schools in which you’re most interested:
a. Is the total cost of attendance on the Net Price Calculator accurate? Are there any other fees we should be aware of?
b. How do merit-based awards at your school work (if they’re offered)? Do I have to apply separately?
 What are the requirements to keep merit-based scholarship from year-to-year?
c. Does your school meet 100% need? If not, is there an average “gap” that financial aid may not cover?
d. What is average debt upon graduation? Does this include private loans and/or parent loans?
e. How does your school handle outside scholarships (see below)?
f. Does financial aid stay similar each year if my family situation doesn’t change much?

6) What about merit (non-need-based) scholarships?
a. Colleges/Universities that offer their own institutional merit scholarships are competitive and amounts vary widely – you must be an above-average candidate for the college to offer you merit aid, and research each school’s policies.
b. The most selective schools offer only need-based aid, NOT merit aid.
c. Other private outside scholarships rely on your self-motivation, organization and time management to find and apply
d. There are many national private scholarships – you’re more likely to be successful with lesser-known, more local scholarships. NEVER PAY to apply for scholarships!
e. The vast majority of scholarships are around $500 - $1,000 or so per year, and many have a need-based component
f. How to find and apply (start early – many have fall deadlines!)
i. Your public high school guidance office, community non-profit organizations, and public library
ii. Websites: Common Application, College Board Scholarship Search, Naviance (if available), Bureau of Labor Statistics Scholarship Search, Peterson’s Scholarship Search, Unigo Scholarship Search, Fastweb. There are many websites but they can generate a lot of unwanted emails.

LINGO TO KNOW (If it sounds too good to be true it probably is)
100% Need-based aid = Family must “demonstrate” financial need to receive aid according to the college’s definition of your need. Meets 100%
Full Demonstrated Need = According to college’s definition of your need, they will “meet” your need with types of financial aid that may include loans and work expectations. (Ex. If you demonstrate 50% need, they could give you 40% scholarships & 10% loans)
No Loan Policy = A few selective schools advertise no loans for anyone, some advertise no loans for low-income only. You may still have to borrow loans if the college determines you have less than 100% financial need but you cannot afford your expected contribution.
Full tuition scholarship = Tuition only, not including fees, room, meal plan, books, etc. State schools have low tuition and high fees. Need blind: Financial need is not considered when determining admission. Need aware means they do consider ability to pay a factor.

Read more:
How Much College Can You Really Afford?: https://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/how-much-college-can-you-afford
What Your Family Can Afford For College : https://www.mykidscollegechoice.com/2017/05/09/what-can-your-family-afford-for-college/
What You Need To Know About Financial Aid: https://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/13/education/edlife/what-you-dont-know-about-financial-aid-but-should.html
College Board Financial Aid Information: https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/pay-for-college
Federal Student Aid Website: https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/types
Will My Admission Chances Increase If I Do Not Apply for Aid? http://time.com/money/4435764/boost-financial-aid-college-admission/

College Decision Day - Make an Informed Decision

• Compare Award Letters: The Award Letter is an important factor for many families as they try to figure out which schools they can afford to send their student to. However, they’re not always written in the clearest language. Our Award Letter Comparison Tool, can help students and parents interpret their financial aid packages from up to 5 different schools to help determine which one is best for them.
   
• College Decision Day: Some of your students may know which school they want to attend without a doubt, but others may be a bit unsure. Either way, now that they’ve been accepted, making that final choice can be intimidating. That’s why we’ve created this handy quiz to help students decide what's the best fit.
   
• Scholarship Sweepstakes Award: It’s not too late to get more money for college. Your students and parents have a chance to win a $10,000 scholarship from Discover Student Loans! The first drawing is April 9, so be sure to have them visit College Covered to enter.

Find more resources at Collegcovered.com, a FREE resource on planning and paying for college. 

Article - Tackling the relentless pressure to succeed that's driving girls to despair

Tackling the relentless pressure to succeed that's driving girls to despair

By Kelly Wallace, CNN(CNN)

As a mom of two daughters, I'm mindful of how girls today have more opportunity than ever. In fact, I tell my girls this all the time: They can be anything they want and shatter any glass ceiling, even the highest one, the presidency. 

Be confident and speak up, and you can achieve great things, we tell our girls. You can play any sport, join any after-school club, volunteer for any cause and get the grades. In fact, girls are regularly outperforming boys in school and enrolling in higher numbers in college.

 

It's a great time to be a girl -- or is it? Because behind all these possibilities is a troubling development: Girls' anxiety and depression are climbing and increasingly turning tragic.

Between 2007 and 2015, the suicide rate for girls between the ages of 15 and 19 doubled, reaching a 40-year high in 2015, according to new data from the National Center for Health Statistics.

 

"I think no one can dispute the wholesale kind of collapse of girls' wellness right now," said bestselling author Rachel Simmons, who has been working with and doing research on girls for the past two decades.

 

"It's really a crisis. I don't think I'm overstating it. Everywhere I go, I hear about levels of anxiety that are so crippling that it makes it hard for teachers to teach, and we can't not pay attention to this anymore."

 

Simmons points to the findings of a 2015 freshman survey by UCLA of 150,000 full-time students at more than 200 colleges and universities. Rachel Simmons is author of "Enough As She Is."

 

Twice as many girls as boys reported that they felt depressed frequently or occasionally, and twice as many girls as boys said they were "overwhelmed with all they had to do" -- a 25% jump in the number of girls in both categories in just over 15 years, according to Simmons.

 

What's behind these concerning numbers? As Simmons writes in her new book, "Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives," girls are growing up with outsize expectations of personal and professional success. The pressure to be great at everything is causing them to feel less confident, more fearful of failure and more critical of themselves, Simmons says.

Girls' psychology and culture on 'collision course'

"There is a deep mismatch in terms of what the culture is telling girls and their most vulnerable parts of their psychology," said Simmons, who is also co-founder of the national nonprofit Girls Leadership.

 

Girls are socialized at a very young age to rely heavily on feedback from others. They grow up paying more and more attention to what other people think of them and whether they are measuring up to those external expectations.

 

In today's society, that relentless concern about pleasing others is on what Simmons calls a collision course with two cultural changes: the ubiquitousness of social media, which is exacerbating the need to perform, and heightened expectations of what it means to be a successful girl today.

 

"We're now giving girls access to STEM (science, technology, engineering and math). We're giving girls access to opportunities they've never had before. And we're not doing that and saying, 'Oh, you don't have to have a bikini body anymore. That's cool. You're good. You can look however you want to look,' " Simmons said.

 

"No, we're saying 'keep your bikini body and become an engineering major and also have a totally lit Snapchat feed on a Saturday night,' and so that's exhausting, and I call that role overload and role conflict."

 

Social media alone becomes a "virtual second shift" for young girls, almost like a full-time job, as they spend more time on average on Instagram and Snapchat that boys do.

 

"Social media enables them to curate an exhausting range of identities -- jock, scholar, beauty queen, party girl, best friend, and on and on -- demanded by the new rules of girl success, crammed into a twenty-four-hour day," she writes in "Enough As She Is."

 

Simmons said she wishes she didn't have to write this book. In her bestseller "The Curse of the Good Girl," published in 2009, she wrote about the need to teach girls how to take up space, find courage and be confident. But in her work with girls on college campuses and elementary, middle and high schools across the country, she started to see that the wellness piece was missing.

 

"Despite very high levels of achievement, girls were struggling with a sense of imposter syndrome, low lack of confidence, overthinking and an enduring belief that no matter how hard they tried, they were not enough of whatever it was," said Simmons, who has a young daughter of her own.

"Moreover, the terms of success that they had established for themselves were so kind of outsized and unrealistic and unhealthy that they were on this hamster wheel of trying to get something they were never going to get."

 

Simmons said she has come to realize that in order to help girls become stronger and more confident, we have to attend to their emotional health. "We never thought about girls' leadership as being integrated into their wellness, and ... that's the shift that's taking place, is that we need to start thinking about wellness in tandem with growing their confidence and growing their achievement."

Changing how we teach girls

Tara Christie Kinsey, head of school at The Hewitt School, a girls' private school in New York City, and a former dean at Princeton University, said that what she and her colleagues in higher education have seen across college campuses for years are young girls with "amazing ... paper resumes" with all the right grades and SAT scores. 

 

It "looks amazing on paper, and yet the interior life of young women in particular was sorely lacking," said Kinsey, who has a daughter in the third grade and a son in the fifth grade.

She tells the story of meeting with a female college student when her then-5-year-old daughter burst through the office door, so excited to show her mom the contents of her kindergarten folder. When her daughter left, "the young woman looked at me, and she said, 'I remember when I used to have that kind of confidence.' " 

 

As an educator and an advocate for girls and women, Kinsey said, she is focused on the gap between what we know girls need to thrive and be healthy and how we're teaching them every day, whether it's in the classroom or in the home.

 

"I think that better understanding that gap holds many of the keys to closing yet another gap, the success gap between how girls are faring in school -- where we know they're crushing it, and they're outperforming boys, and they're achieving at levels we've never seen before -- and how they're faring in life after school," Kinsey said. "They're coming up against not only a structural glass ceiling but also a psychological glass ceiling that thwarts their self-actualization."

Kinsey was familiar with Simmons' books and incorporated her research into her work in higher education. When she moved to The Hewitt School, she wanted to bring Simmons' teachings and experience to students, faculty and parents in the community. In 2016, Simmons was named the inaugural Girls' Research Scholar in Residence at Hewitt.

 

Simmons' work at Hewitt involves helping the girls and young women build their skills in the broad category of emotional intelligence, Kinsey said, with a focus on healthy risk-taking, conflict resolution, self-advocacy, managing friendships, and the giving and receiving of feedback.

 

She may be sprawled on the floor with an entire grade of middle-schoolers, tracing their bodies for an exercise on the difference between feelings you sometimes keep inside, such as jealousy, and feelings you express, such as anger. She might be sitting crisscross apple sauce with elementary school girls, talking about the difference between a real apology and a not-so-real apology.

 

Or she may be standing on a chair and reciting a poem demonstrating how the pressure to be perfect really undermines the ability to give and receive authentic feedback.

 

"What I'm trying to do is fill in the blanks in terms of some of the skills that they don't have," Simmons said. "So, sure, they're really good at doing their worksheets and the homework and sitting quietly in class discussions and taking exams, but when something goes off the rails, then we're working with them on, how do you cope? We're filling in the blanks, and I contend that if you fill in the blanks ... then we're going to see a better balance between all of this ... on-paper success and what's happening inside.

"But right now, things are out of whack. We got overdeveloped on paper and very underdeveloped in life and in terms of resilience (and) adaptability."

 

It is that fear of failure that can really be crippling for girls and young women today, which is why Simmons, who is also a leadership development specialist at Smith College, regularly concludes her orientation programs on college campuses with a graduation ceremony. The young women who attend will each receive a "Certificate of Failure."

 

The mock diploma reads, "Having honorably fulfilled all the requirements imposed by the overload of high school, you are hereby certified to screw up, bomb or otherwise fail" during college "and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent human," Simmons writes in her book.

 

The girls laugh, she writes, but then they take those certificates back to their dorm rooms. "Every girls needs a Certificate of Failure," she writes.

Helping parents combat 'not-enoughness'

At Hewitt, Simmons also works with the teachers, helping them see the importance of trying to teach soft skills such as resilience and adaptability just like they are teaching anything else.

Instead of giving feedback on written work, a teacher might do a one-on-one consultation with the student in which they focus on her goals and what she hopes to achieve in her next writing sample.

In math, teachers don't typically give girls grades on quizzes; they give written feedback so the girls can learn from their mistakes.

"You see how that's just completely transformative to girls and relationships, to their own achievement," Kinsey said. "It's not about grades. It's about growth. It's about feedback. It's about failure. It's about honoring mistakes as a necessary part of the learning process."

 

As part of her work at Hewitt, Simmons also meets regularly with parents and tries to help them "combat the sense of shame and 'not-enoughness' that so many parents have."

 

"This is an era in which parents are probably the least confident they're ever been in themselves," Simmons said. "If we want our kids to feel like they are enough, the parents have to feel like they are enough."

 

During coffee talks, she tries to help parents feel comfortable enough to share what they are most afraid of, such as concerns that their daughter doesn't have a ton of friends or isn't getting the best grades.

 

"We had a couple of faculty members who aren't parents who were sitting there going, 'Oh, my God. I had no idea that parents were that scared about their kids, and all I see is 'my daughter didn't get a good grade on the test,' and that anger is actually fear,'" Kinsey said. "That anger is fear, and what Rachel is doing in such a beautiful way is saying ''if you don't get in touch with that, you're not really modeling for girls what they need.' "

 

Muffy Flouret, who has a daughter in the seventh grade at Hewitt, said Simmons is helping students and parents understand what it means to fail and how to bounce back. 

 

"She's on the edge of the research of how do we raise girls in the community, and it's invaluable, because parents who might not think twice about saying, 'Well, you didn't get the A. I'm not so happy about that,' might now think twice about that reaction," Flouret said.

 

She also said Simmons is helping the community understand the perils of trying to be the best at everything.

 

"To create this sort of pressure that you have to be the top of the soccer team and you have to be top of the debate team, it's not sustainable, and it's not realistic," she said. "Where does that leave you as an adult? You have to be able to bounce back and react to things."

Jo-Anne Williams, co-chairwoman of the Hewitt Parents' Association, who has a daughter in the seventh grade at the school, attends nearly every one of Simmons' events with parents. 

 

"It really causes you to take a step back and say, 'What am I really doing? Am I just trying to create a cookie cutter of myself, or (what) I want her to be?' " Williams said. "I worked in finance. I was always strong in certain subjects that she doesn't happen to like all that much. Am I pressuring her too much on math because that's not her thing? She's a dancer. She's a great writer. She's other things."

Williams said her daughter recently told her mother that she chews her fingernails because she's a perfectionist.

 

"I said, 'Well, I used to chew my fingernails when I was a kid,' and I said, 'I stopped doing it. And I also used to be a perfectionist and I've stopped doing that, so there's hope for you.' "